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I wish she had just come out and asked me what she wanted to know." And moms, while getting what you need to bring you some ease and clarity, I have heard firsthand how this can shed new light for both of you.
Even if this step doesn't fully erase the concerns from within that intuitive, great mom radar of yours, you can at least know that you shared a conscious, clear dialogue that also benefits your daughter. Suzanne points out, "Sometimes, our problems with the relationships of loved ones have much more to do with and our own values, fears, and experiences than with the values, wants, and needs of our loved ones." I can't begin to tell you how many girls have come to me asking for advice on how to show their moms that the fears the moms are experiencing seem to be based on the moms' past stories, not what's actually going on in the present.
The first time had to do with a close girlfriend, and the other involved a toxic ex-boyfriend (whom she and everyone else who loved me tried every which way to get me to walk away from).
My mom and I have always had an amazing closeness -- we can share almost anything -- but I'll admit these were two times that we had some serious tension between us.
And if you are feeling a connection then let her know. It will make the whole dating process easier if you follow this one simple rule. Date around, but only seriously date one girl at a time. Hold hands, put your arm around her shoulders or eventually her waist, kiss her head, put your hand on her knee, these sweet gestures speak volumes & make a woman feel cared for.
*Do you have a son who is already approaching those teenage years?Not to mention that for the moms, viewing the person through their daughters' eyes helped ease some of their concerns.Teen counselor Suzanne Bonfiglio Bauman is one of the trusted go-to experts in the Ask Elizabeth world.While your instincts about him or her may not be wrong, you may not know the full picture.
A lot of girls have said they appreciated their moms taking the time to understand why that person was important to her. Do not be responsible for hardening a woman’s heart. Get to know her family & friends and let your family & friends get to know her.